Although the gestational diabetes has certainly not been fun, I have to admit that I shouldn’t really complain – it has actually made me healthier and, in the end, will benefit both me and Baby B in more ways than one. That aside, I have officially reached my first pregnancy stumbling block — sciatica. This little condition basically means that the baby is either sitting on my sciatic nerve or has shifted something else to (and I use this word loosely) “aggravate” it. In other words, OUCH!!! Every single step I take, ouch! If I turn the steering wheel too quick, ouch! If I want to sit down or bend over, ouch, ouch, and well, ouch!
I really hate complainers, but this time I feel I’ve earned the right. This hurts! So if you don’t feel like “listening” to me vent, skip this posting. For those who are tolerant, here you go:
Think of someone constantly sticking a knife down your right butt cheek, followed by tingling and numbing sensations down your leg, and you and I are MAYBE on the same page. And it has been going on for about a week! What is the most frustrating is that there is NOTHING anyone can do about it. Yes, I know all the little tips — Extra Strength Tylenol (which doesn’t do anything by the way), ice, heat, pelvic tilts (which are supposedly supposed to shift the baby – not working!), laying on my side, walking EXTREMELY slow, and “taking it easy” – but overall, there is really nothing you can do to make this go away. You have to just wait and hope something shifts or miraculously changes to take off the pressure before you actually deliver the baby (that’s 4 to 5 long weeks!). Of course, this is happening at the end of the pregnancy when I’m already struggling to carry around a (beautiful, but heavy) 5- to 6-lb baby that is running out of room every day, causing heartburn when I eat anything from apples to cheese, and makes me have to pee even more than normal (which, by the way, requires a lot of WALKING).
Not that it hasn’t gotten a little better. Last week Friday and Saturday were the worst – walking was basically impossible and stairs completely out of the question. Sunday was better, although I had to sit in a chair like an invalid during my second shower (which, by the way, was absolutely beautiful. If you ever need a party planner, I’ll put you in touch with my sister- and mother-in-law!!!). I had fun, but I hated that I was making such a spectacle of myself and that I couldn’t be as social as I would liked to have been. First of all, it’s embarrassing having people fuss over you, not to mention totally against every personality trait I possess. Thanks for coming, but I’m just going to sit here and make you greet me at my shower…ugh! And by the way, can you get my food for me? :o(
Anyway, after “taking it easy” at home on Monday, I finally made it to work on Tuesday, but I have to say it is still a daily struggle. I literally waddle to the bathroom (which is not even in our office, but down the hallway and past two other glass-encased offices filled with people that apparently enjoy staring). One trip takes me about 15 minutes! I use a seat cushion to help support my back while I work, but that doesn’t prevent my butt from going numb every 10 minutes. But it’s either go to work or lay around and watch TV at home, which is about as boring to me as watching paint dry. Things looked up on Wednesday, but then I overdid it, and I was back to square one yesterday. But after some “discussion,” Jeff talked me into skipping our birthing class last night, and I got some much-needed rest. My back feels the same today, but at least I’m not as exhausted.
Perhaps the hardest part of all of this has been that I can’t do anything to get ready for this baby. I just sit. The whole “nesting” thing has set in, and I want to clean every inch of our house, put every baby item together, and organize, organize, organize – but I literally can’t. Jeff has helped a little, but his brain doesn’t think like mine, so that doesn’t satisfy any of my cleaning urges. Most of the time it just makes me crabbier because he isn’t doing it “right.” (Note: I didn’t say I was being rational here, just honest. I do realize how sweet my husband has been. He even got me this beautiful card this morning, so rest assured, I love and appreciate him, but I’m also in pain here! :o) )
I want to install the car seat, organize all the shower gifts, wash every baby item, buy the stuff we didn’t get (which isn’t much by the way – thank you everyone!), put every toy and piece of baby equipment together, as well as the usual laundry and cleaning that needs to be done (with bleach and toothbrushes of course!). We have two more rooms to paint, some more closet organization to finish, a camcorder to buy, and my “bag” to pack. All things that keep me up at night, but can’t really get done right now. Instead, I sit and lay and read my millionth baby advice book…
Wow, was that a rant or what! Sorry about that. Needless to say, I still love this baby more than anything and would not change my situation for the world, but I think that is why this is so hard. I want to ENJOY every minute of this pregnancy. I am so excited to meet this baby, yet I know I’ll miss carrying him/her inside of me. The LAST thing I want is to become a bitter pregnant lady who wants nothing more than the doctor to “get this thing out of me!” I’m definitely not at that point yet, but I can see how it happens. I guess I’ve just been fortunate enough to make it this far without problems, but 4 more weeks suddenly sounds really long. Maybe Jeff is right, and I will go early. Hmmmm… :o)
Well, enough of all that. I guess all that I can do is ask for your prayers – both for healing and for patience. I need it!
And thanks for listening too — I love you all!