Archives for 2010

Drama Queen

June 18, 2010 by Lisa

Did you know that an OB appointment can last 7 hours? No really. You didn’t? Well, it can.

Did you know you could turn that harmless appointment into a fun-filled trip to labor and delivery, complete with a call to your hubby to get his butt downtown a.s.a.p.? You know, just for kicks…

And did you know you can then top it all off by driving home in 2 hours of Chicago traffic during rush hour when there is a complete downpour?

Oh, yes, yes, you can.

That, my friends, was my Tuesday.

And, yes, I would REALLY like some WINE with that whine. Please, please have a glass for me. Or two. 😉

Now, first of all, let me say that everything is totally fine and that the drama here is totally intended. (But, of course, we all know there is at least a smiggin’ of truth in sarcasm.)

Anywho…

Needless to say, Tuesday’s appointment wasn’t as “uneventful” as we had hoped. Well, in the end it was (a blessing, I know!), but not without some drama.

I really, really hate drama. I try to avoid it at all costs, but I’m afraid I’m turning into a drama queen. Seriously. I’ve never even broken a bone, but now? Well, I feel like it’s always something.

And it’s not like a “poor, poor me” kinda thing — honestly. It’s more like a “this is getting embarrassing because I need you to now watch my kids for 7 hours because I can’t seem to sit on a fetal monitor without something fluke-ish happening” kinda thing. I mean really?

So here’s what happened: I went for a typical OB appointment (no ultrasound), which started with a stress (NST) test. I got downtown in record time, so I was feeling really good that we were going to break our current 5-hour minimum: NST, pee, weight, belly measure, and see ya next week!

Notsomuch.

I was hooked up to the NST machine, chatting away with my nurse while Miss Brooklyn was happily displaying her latest moves via line graph, when BEEP, BEEEEP, BEEEEEEP!!!!

Nurse runs out; another runs in. Doctor comes in. “Turn on your right side. Turn on your left.”

Chaos, chaos, chaos.

“Turn back over and let’s get that heartbeat again.”

No more BEEEEEEPS! Just beep, beep.

Calm.

Me: “What just happened?”

New female OB I had just met who looked like she was straight out of Grey’s Anatomy: “Your baby’s a bit of a trouble maker. Her heart rate dropped significantly for a while there, but she looks fine now. We just want to monitor you over at labor and delivery for a few hours. We’ll do your OB exam over there.”

Me: “Uh, okay.”

So I call Jeff and waddle across the street to triage, call my absolutely angelic sister-in-law babysitter, get hooked up again, and snooze until my now-stressed hubby arrives. Oh joy.

Brooklyn is fine, but yes, she is a trouble maker. It appears that she decided to grab hold of the umbilical cord and give it a good squeeze, which made her heart rate plummet just enough to freak us all out.

But all is well now.

She is moving plenty, and I feel fine. And this grabbing thing? Well, it doesn’t surprise me. I swear this girl has a hold on my bladder and squeezes it any time she feels the need for a good laugh…and lately, that is quite often. 🙂

I too can laugh about it all now, but I’ll admit it wore on me a little Tuesday night after I finally got the girls to bed and I was waiting for Jeff to get home from his second trip into work…ya know, at 9pm.

But we all need a good cry now and then, right? And thank goodness I decided to give in and buy that heavenly bag of chocolate the night before when I went grocery shopping. Now THAT was a God-send for sure.

So there’s some more drama for ya’ll. I have an ultrasound next week, so we’ll see what happens. At least I get to see Miss Queenie herself and those grabby hands! Seriously, could I write a better script?

Sting

June 13, 2010 by Lisa

I sit on my bed, belly up, with a needle in my hand.

I am finally listening to my OB and attempting to take my second daily shot of blood thinner that somehow has taken me 10 weeks to accomplish. There is just not enough time in the day.

This needle, this shot, has nothing to do with Brooklyn. It is to protect me. Yet as I get ready to give the shot, she moves and I am distracted. She shifts, and the right side of my belly sticks up and contorts and is uneven. How that still amazes me.

I carefully put my hand on what I am sure is her backside. The tears start to fall, and I pray hard for healing. I pray for power in my hand. I hold her the only way I know how to right now, and I talk to her out loud and in unspoken words that go straight from my soul to my belly. She kicks, and my heart jumps. I am now smiling through the tears, and I know it is time to give the shot.

As the needle goes in my belly, it stings. Some shots hurt more than others, but today it’s not that bad. A breath of relief sneaks out. It’s the little blessings sometimes.

Yes, there are bruises on my belly. Bruises that were never there before this pregnancy. They are bruises I can hide and never show. But that wouldn’t be fair.

Because I am not alone. We are all hurting, somehow, some way. I am no different than anyone else going through this life. Life stings, and at times it may feel like too much pain to endure. But we do. We get through it.

The bruises fade, and we move on. But we never forget the sting.

And that’s where I know I am different….but in a good way. I could get angry. I could hold on to the pain, bury it deep within my body. I could focus on the hurt, the black and the blue, and give in to my human nature to sit in the sadness and dwell.

But that is where He comes in.

He doesn’t take away the sting, but He will heal the bruises and, most of all, He will fill the brokenness that goes so far beyond my skin. He will replace those bruises with all the colors of the rainbow, making the black and the blue beautiful and in perfect harmony with the bigger picture He is painting.

If you don’t know who He is, I am talking about God. And He makes all the difference in the world.

You see, I will get to hold the baby in my belly, look at her face, and I KNOW that I will be in awe of the beauty He has created. Not only because the Bible says it ( Romans 8:28 ), but because I feel it…even now. And that feeling is so much stronger than the sting.

I am still healing, yes, and it still hurts. But the assurance, the promise that lays before me is what I bury deep within my body. And even though there is another shot in my near future, there is also a life to live, a man to love, little girls to take care of, and much happiness to be had.

I will not be wounded. I will be better.

For me,
for her,
for them,
for Him.

Foto Friday: F is for Fun

June 11, 2010 by Lisa

So, I realize this blog has gotten a little heavy lately. I write when I feel led, and today I feel led to lighten up a little and share some of our family fun.

Truth be told, I was born a scheduler and rule-follower — especially when it comes to our girls — which means that sometimes I have to be reminded to chill out and just live. They are only little once, and the best part about being a Mommy is that you get the chance to be little all over again.

One thing that I have definitely learned over these few months is that life is truly what you make it. You can either jump in and laugh, or sit and miss out on all the fun. So I have vowed to change things around this house — making it more playful and more joyful and full of l.i.f.e.

That started with a promise to make this summer as fun as possible…balancing planned trips with last-minute adventures and all-out silliness (and getting some work done in between). Although my hormones are trying REALLY hard to work against us, I think we’ve gotten off to a great start!

(Cue lots and lots of photos… Enjoy!)

Impromptu trips to random parks we drive past